If Mommy Takes a Sick Day
If Mommy decides to take a sick day and sleeps ten more minutes,
then her daughter will decide to play dress-up in her closet.
She will try on every skirt and all the pants that Mommy owns.
After she tries on all the clothes, she will notice that she isn’t wearing any shoes,
so of course, she will pull out Mommy’s ankle-height black boots.
Wearing these boots will make her feel very grown up,
so she will set out to do some grown up things.
First, she will make sure her brother and sister accompany her downstairs
while her mommy throws up in the toilet.
When she gets downstairs, she will realize that Mommy always makes breakfast,
and since she looks like Mommy in her boots, she will get some.
She will first have to push a chair to the refrigerator so she can get the friendship bread and cookies ‘hidden’ on top.
While she is getting breakfast for everyone, she notices the pack of 10,000 stickers and the stamp pads that she just got as a gift.
She decides they must have arts and crafts after breakfast.
Looking at her stickers makes her want scissors so she can cut her stickers into 1,000,000,000 tiny pieces.
Looking at her scissors makes her brother want to cut her hair.
Luckily, Mommy finishes throwing up in time (she hopes).
If Mommy takes a sick day,
then Aunt Lisa normally offers to take the kids away. And she does.
And if Aunt Lisa takes the kids away,
then Grammy and Papa Joe normally let the kids spend the night.
And if the kids are gone,
then Mommy can throw up and try to rest on her sick day in peace
and leave the clothes and friendship bread crumbs and 1,000,000,000 sticker pieces until tomorrow.
Which she does.
And when tomorrow comes,
Mommy cleans up all the clothes and friendship bread crumbs and 1,000,000,000 sticker pieces.
If Mommy is feeling well enough to clean,
then the kids have to come home.
And if the kids come home,
then they will drive her crazy.
But after they drive her crazy,
they will go to bed.
But to get back at her for sending them away,
the baby will wake up at four and six, and the daughter who likes to dress up will come in her bed before Mommy’s ready to wake up.
And after all the throwing up, and cleaning up, and waking up,
Mommy decides she needs to sleep ten more minutes.
Inspired by Laura Numeroff’s “If You Give a Mouse a Cookie” and other children’s books.
Originally published at https://jennifervdavis.com on November 24, 2010.