When ‘I’m Sorry’ Doesn’t Cut It

Before I had even joined the Air Force, I had memorized its core values: Integrity first, Service before self, Excellence in all we do. As a candidate in Officer Training School, I saw these values played out many times in different scenarios meant to teach us what these values look like in practice. What I learned was not new to me; I was raised to believe I should do what’s right, even when no one is looking, and always work hard, yet I appreciated having these succinct phrases to name what I believed.

After this past week, I’m starting to think that more organizations should adopt them, too.

This year has been the year for public apologies. From politicians expressing remorse for their inappropriate relationships to sports figures apologizing for their reckless behavior on and off the field to a CEO lamenting the worst oil spill ever decimating the Gulf Coast, I’ve watched countless individuals offer their confessions over the air waves. Yet I have to wonder, for whose benefit are these apologies?

In this day and age of attorney-crafted public statements, we all realize that for many of these people, they are simply doing what a public figure is supposed to do after messing up. As far as true acts of contrition, there are none. Can one truly have remorse for an action if one’s public statement is crafted in such a way as to admit no guilt?

Instead of spending energy crafting the perfect apology, I have a better idea: Do what’s right the first time. Don’t cheat on your wife, don’t berate a line judge with profanities, and don’t cut corners in your business. Integrity first. Service before Self. Excellence in all we do.

I believe in forgiveness as I have been forgiven much by my God, yet I also believe that actions have consequences. True repentance brings with it the acceptance of these consequences. True repentance isn’t something that happens merely because one gets caught, and true repentance isn’t found in the pen of the lawyer.

As I watch the live feeds of oil gushing into the once clear Gulf waters, volunteers caring for pelicans covered in the thick sludge, I’m not concerned with anyone’s public statement. The fact is this tragedy never should have happened.

Living life by a strict code of conduct isn’t always easy. Controlling one’s emotions isn’t always easy. Staying faithful isn’t always easy. But I’d imagine, neither is the clean-up when one doesn’t.

Originally published at https://jennifervdavis.com on June 21, 2010.